Real swamp monster write in earlier post that the scariest words in the United Swamps of America might be…
“I’m from the federal government and I’m here to help…”
Real swamp monster agree those words can be disturbing; Real swamp monster hear words that might trump those…
“This is Special Agent Smith and I would like to speak with you in person…”
Real swamp monster change special agent name for this story; not want to compromise his identity. But this is true story that happen this week. Real swamp monster switch to survival instinct; call Mrs. Real swamp monster, tell her drain all bank accounts and save herself, make run for it to Florida.
Real swamp monster watch too much TV; read too many spy novels. Special Agent doing background check for friend who need government security clearance. Friend should have told Real swamp monster this was coming; not sure can get Mrs. Real swamp monster back again.
Real swamp monster meet Special Agent Smith at local grocery store restaurant, somewhat disappointed by appearance. Real swamp monster expect tough looking Fed who arrive in black SUV; maybe he smack Real swamp monster around; hurl slurs at me if not get right answers; Special Agent Smith skinny kid half Real swamp monster age; very polite and treat Real swamp monster with respect. Maybe Special Agent Smith’s boss, Narcissistic Number 45, could learn how treat people with respect from Special Agent Smith.